Calgary Jeep Association
General Forums => Chit-Chat => Topic started by: Black Betty on March 29, 2011, 06:35:53 AM
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Bit of a long read but I thought I'd share with you guys a little fun I had with a telemarketer. I got a call from Direct energy on sat and this is how it went.
Adrian: hello?
De: hello may I speak with the owner of the house?
Adrian: That's me!
De: hello sir, I am so and so from direct energy, the reason I am calling today is to ensure that you are safe from escalating energy rates, now where do you currently get your gas from?
Adrian: well, sometimes esso, but mostly shell cause they have air miles.
De: no sir, I ment the natural gas for your heating and hot water.
Adrian: hmm you know I'm not quite sure.
De: well where do you get your electricity from?
Adrian: I have a grey box on the side of the house with a white dial thingy on it, I'm pretty sure I get I from there.
(little bit of a pause here)
De: ok sir in order for you to take advantage of this offer I must understand where you currently get your energy from, can you tell me if you have a pink or white bill?
Adrian: ummm, I really don't want to be taken advantage of, that definately doesn't sound like fun..
De: no sir! Take advantage of, not taken advantage of! Maybe this service isn't for you sir.
Adrian: you mean I won't get taken advantage of???
De: no sir
Adrian: that's good, l guess I don't really need what your offering then do I?
De: no sir
(left a little pause here)
Adrian: can I still get my gas at shell?
De: yes sir
Adrian: what about petro Canada? They are red and white, I like red, red is a fast colour Can I get gas there too?
De: yes sir.
Adrian: all right then, have a good one eh?
De: thank you, you too sir....
Click!
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That's GREAT!! The other one I like is
caller.."Sorry Did I wake you up?"
Me "Nope, Had to answer the phone anyway"
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That's pretty good...
I usually don't have the heart to tell telemarketers to fu@% -off so I try to engage them in dirty-talk.
telemarketer: " Hi my name is Tim and I'm with the Calgary Herald. Can I interest you in a yearly subscription to our fantastic paper?"
me: " What are you wearing Tim and what time do you get off of work?" [panting] "Tim?"....."You still there big guy?"
You call my house at suppertime and you get what you get...
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http://www.digyourowngrave.com/tom-mabe-telemarketer-crime-scene-prank/
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I like that, don't know if I could pull it off without laughing, but I do like it.
I usually try to sell them something, like a crazy piece of art, or some crack.
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Usually I ask them first if they know how much the fine is for calling someone on the Do Not Call list, and then ask them for their employee number and supervisor's name so I can forward it to the appropriate government official for legal action to commence.
Never had one last longer than 20 seconds when I do that.
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I like to tell them that I am very interested but I have to finish my call on the other line. I then ask them if they will hold, if they say yes I put them on hold and never pickup again. It is kind of fun to see how long they will hold for.
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I liked Jerry Seinfeld's approach
Jerry - yes, but I'm busy right now, can I have your home phone number so I can call you back later,....ohh,.. you don't want ot be called at home,...me either !!! and then hangs up the phone.
Or Danny Devito in Ruthless People - hilarious but probably a little to direct and graphic for this site LOL
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I thought I'd joke around once with a tele marketer and ended up with 3 RCMP cars at my house!
Got a call for some life insurace company once. Caller asked for me and I said just a sec. Setting the phone down I hollared to the air, "Hey Manny are you done cutting him up yet? Your wanted on the phone." I came back on the phone and the caller was gone. Thought great! Got rid him of easily. Well about 20 min later I had cops all over my house! Needless to say they we'nt amused but it was all good in the end.
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http://www.performance-shop.com/showthread.php?t=44710&highlight=gold+cash
You might have to be a member to see the pic, but it is well worth the time to register..
It isnt a telemarketer, but it is in the same ballpark..and I think it is incredible.