Best "got out of a ticket story!"

[Evil-Jeep]

So after some recent posts on how fast your jeep goes and watching last nights episode of How I Met Your Mother, I go to thinking about some of the tickets I have managed to talk my self out of.


Most recently was last September while traveling South bound on 14th street by nose hill. I remeber passing a school bus looking down seeing I was hovering over 90km and looked up and there was an officer flagging my to pull over.

I stopped he asked if I knew how fast I was going I said "I just looked and saw it was over 90" I handed him my licsence and registration appologized, he asked why I was I speeding, I told him I was on the way to pick up my wife and son as they were coming home after he was born (It was true) he handed me my licsence and registration back said I better not be B-s-ing him and he let me go.

I am "usually" much more careful about my speed on 14th now.


What are some of your best stories?

[hps4evr]

so i went out to fernie with a friend to visit the friends brother. well, fernie being fernie, ya gotta go out. so the plan was to pick up the brother and head to a pub. as we arrive im thinkin yeah! rockstar parking! right in front! so we park. walk over to he bank for some cash and bang! im hitting on all cylinders, i find a 20$ bill on the ground. i cant be beat. we hang out in the pub for a coupel hours. i had 2 pints over 2 hours. it wasa good time, nothing crazy though. we decided to head back to the hotel as we were pretty beat. chit chat a little more outside and hop in the truck. had a couple drinks, meh, hotel is a couple blocks away, no biggie. as soon as i turn the key my friend, who is very drunk, sais " hey, theres a cop right there". my heart goes from 80 bpm's to about 280! i think naw, hes gonna go the other way... nope. he was waiting for us. me. the dumbass that parks in front of a bar... my friend sais, "its no big deal, we arent moving". i said its too late, the tuck is running, the intent is there. crap. so the cop parks across the street and walks over to us in less then 3 seconds. hes all chipper and asks right off the bat, " hows it goin tonight, and how many drinks have you had?" i say none, just cokes for me. im the designated driver and all... the cop sais, "are you sure?" i know hes tryin to trap me. i say just cokes. he sais, any whiskey wit the coke. and i say nopers man. all the while im talking away from him so he cant smell my beer breath. by this time my drunk friend jumps in and sais, "no officer, he hasnt been drinking, but i sure have!". she said this with a real loud voice and real nasty drunk laugh to it! she kept taking the cops attention away from me with her drunk vocals. it worked... until the cop asked what our relationship was... i was like hunh? i looked over at my drunk friend( who happens to be an ex-girlfriend of mine) and she looks at me and we both look at the cop and say at the same time, its complicated... he gives us a funny look. of course my friend finally sais, ok, we used to date but now we're just friends, and its ok. then the cop has this really weird look and sais, "well ok then, i dont want a domestic issue goin on so you drive safe all right".
i almost died right there. after a few minutes i could finally drive and we laughed our asses off for a couple days.
my cop story, yeah.

[The Machinist]

Well, didn't really get out of this one.  2am, red mile during the flames playoffs a few years ago, waiting for a cab in front of melrose.  Paddy wagon drives by and I get stared down by the two cops inside.  Thought I'd be smart, smirked and sent the message that I think they are #1.   They didn't find it as funny as I did, at the time.  They screeched to a stop, jumped out, something along the lines of "you think it's fcuking funny to finger a cop", my smile went to a blank look on my face, then they floored me.  Handcuffed, thrown in the paddy wagon, yelled at for an hour, thrown in the drunk tank till noon and got a $400 fine for stunting!  Next time I'll wait until they aren't looking to finger them!   Did manage to get out of the stunting ticket. 

[dunl]

Copied from Dougie on Another site:

A senior citizen drove his brand new Shelby out of the dealership. Taking off down the road,
he floored it to 120km/h, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down the highway, pushing the pedal down even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the patrol car behind him, blue and red lights flashing
and siren blaring. He floored it to 150km/h, then 180, then 200. Suddenly he thought, "What
am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the officer`s arrival.

 
Pulling in behind him, the RCMP officer walked up to the Shelby, looked at his watch and said,
"Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding
that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.“


The old gentleman paused, then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a police officer. I
thought you were bringing her back.“

Have a good day, Sir," replied the cop with a broad grin.

[Waytec]

I have a good cop story, other then the being 14 to 16 years old and out running cops on quads on the back roads.
I lived at home out side the small town of Tamworth Ontario on the family farm but worked in Kingston about 45min drive at normal pace about 90km/h. On this rout to and from home there is this nice flat strait starch that is abut 10km long. One night on the way home from working nights, about 0300 I decided to open the car right up. I had a 98 Cavalier Z24 with a 2.4L engine that I had bored 20over and supper charged. On this strait stretch there is a field gate that is kind of hidden and the cops love to site their.
On this night a cop was sitting their doing paperwork guess. As I pass I figured he has me or he doesn’t so no point in letting off now. No red lights no head lights nothing. So around the corner I went and cursed on home at a normal pace. The next day I was out front of the hose working with Dad on something and cop pulls in the driveway, Officer David got out. David lives about 5 km from the farm up the road. We have know each other for years.
He looks at me and says, “Aaron I know is WAS you last night, I know that YOU where long gone by the time I had the car in drive. Slow it down and keep it on the track.”
Dad looks at me as asks “how fast where you going?’ I don’t know. The Speedo stops at 180km/h and I had it well pined over. Officer Davis shook his head and got in the car and left.
Dad took my car to work a couple days later, and got a speeding ticket. I guess they where looking for me.
 

[JackstandJohnny]

gotta tell this one because its funny as hell. i  thought it was quick thinking on my part.
out on teh Island a year ago my sis and i are visiting our mom. we go for dinner (keg. yumm) and i get to drive moms TJ home.  well to my surprise there is a seatbelt checkstop up ahead;  i'm F$##&d.  no seat belt they can see it.  me, being ever so clever, move teh TJ seat up a bit so that my gut hits the steering wheel.  the cop pulls me over says, 'do u know why you were stopped'  i say ' well i was barely moving, so no i don't' ma'am'
well she says' well son you aren't wearing your seatbelt' 
i say ' oh i know officer, it doesn't fit.'
'really?'
'yes ma'am,  i'm kind of a big guy and this jeep is realy small, i tried to pull it on but its so tight it was cutting into my neck. i figured me blacking out when driving was more of a concern to other drivers' (i say this as i 'try' to put the seatbelt on, which is not long enough, with some crafty pulling of the seatbelt it looks like i'm really reefing on it but its out of length')
after trying a few times i say 'see ma'am its just so uncomfortable it would hinder my driving and stuff'
the officer, watching me try to do up the seatbelt then goes on to tell me how i can 'apply for a handicap sticker thingy' cause obviously i'm handicapped and unable to wear the seatbelt. so we chat for a few minutes about how to proceed on such a venture, and how it would help me in teh future.  My sister, and mom sit silently through the whole ordeal untill we took off again...... then the laughter ensued followed with 'how the F#$% did you pull that off?'
i said magic

[tubby]

I would hate to be a Police Officer. Getting lied to every day would suck. I certainly wouldn't give one the finger.....tsk,tsk.
Anyways, I was 19years old and headed to Lethbridge for a wild party on an acreage. I used a side road from Claresholm and came to a T-intersection. I made a rolling stop and a cop coming the other way pulled me over. I was shaking like a hooker in church. My insurance was invalid a few days before. There was a huge keg of Drummond Draft in the box. I also had a shotgun(unloaded...I think) strapped in the back of my bench seat. The officer came by and asked why I rolled the stop sign. I said my truck is on 38" tires and an old farm truck with drums on all four corners. He asked for my licence and registration. I  barfed all over my crotch. He asked me to step out of the vehicle. I opened my door and my truck was pretty tall. Cop was on the short side. I opened the door and when I tried steppin out; I fell on the cop. I managed to get puke all over his uniform. He laughed and told me to get going. I stank like a dumpster....but no ticket.
I laugh to myself every time I come up to this T-intersection. I also come to a complete stop.

[dunl]

If you've evr drank with Newfie's, you'll find this funny.

My dad and uncle were coming back through Nova Scotia from a trip to Newfoundland.  As my uncle came blowing over the hill, they met an RCMP. No time to even blink before the lights came on.  So they pulled over, and up came the unamused officer.

He checked them over a bit, asked for my uncle's license, and asked where they were coming from and going, as my uncle is from New Brunswick.  So he explained that they had just spent a week in Newfoundland, and they were driving home to New Brunswick.  The officer, still unamused, decide to ask him what colour his eyes were?

My uncle, with a little chuckle - "Well officer, after a week in Newfoundland.....probably RED."

This cracked the guy up and off they went with a warning.

[Sandman]

haha i got a few not gonna post all of em tho.
i was 19 drinkin in carburn park wiht a friend havin a fire ,had a backpack with a 30pack in it.
well some people were blazin in the parkin lot so cops showed and decided to roll through the park.
meanwhile i was taking a leak on a tree and my buddy goes "oh $*&#  cops"
i said "dont joke around like that, that crap aint funny" while still standing at the tree.
turned 30seconds around and low n behold theres 2 cops there
im thinkin  damn im screwed liqour in a park, open liqour on the table, urinating in  public.

talkin to the cops
he asked us to pour the open beer out.
so we did
he then asked how many beer i had in the bag
my response was  "enough for me my buddy and you two"
he kinda laughed
"this time say none"
so he asked again and i said none.
he wrote my buddy a ticket for open liqour in a public place, i didnt get fined for anything and ontop of it i got to keep my beer.
they didnt even ask us to leave

[Whiskeymetal]

haha when I read these, I can't help but think of Tommy Boy when he gets out of a tickets by swerving and then running out of the car yelling "BEES!!!! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtmwjFPBiQg 

Watch from 1:45

[FullMetalJeep]

once upon a time in high school, I used to sneak out of my window @ night and steal my parents car or truck with out a licence. I would drive out of town to the acreage that my old girlfriend used to live at. She would sneak out of her house and we'd drive back to town, and sneak back into my room to "study hard" for all hours of the night.

one night, we where not watching the time, for some reason, and just happened to look at the clock. It was 4:45am, and her father got up to get ready for work @ 5:30. So in a panic we fled my house, she got dressed in my dad's truck while I didnt bother to put any clothes other than my boxers on. We sped out of town and I think I was doing about 160km on the highway. Sure enough, we sped by a police car with no lights on hiding in the dark on the other side of the road. Didnt even see him until I noticed red and blue flashing lights quickly disappear in my rear view mirror. I hit the gas and got up to 180+ km per hour, adrenaline pumping heart pounding, girlfriend screaming at me to STOP!!!!

I kept going for about a kilometer before I decided to give up, if only for the sake of my girlfriend, even though the cop was not even visible yet, and we could have easily made it to the turn off and disappear into the back roads without getting caught.

We waited on the side of the road, the current time ... 5:15 am.

the cop eventually caught up to me. Seeing that my girlfriend was partially dressed, and I was in my underwear, and had been caught going 60km over the limit w/o a license, not sure what he felt. Regardless I plead my case to him, telling him exactly what was going on and how her father would be up for work in the next ten minutes. To my amazement, the second cop car that pulled in took my girl to her house. Upon getting close to her residence, he turn off all his lights, and pulled in very slowly and quietly, and let her out about 20 feet away from her yard. Her dad, as far as I know, never was the wiser.

As for me, back in the first cop car on the side of the road, enjoying my time before the gallows... I talked to the officer, who I would meet again later in life on a number of occasions. He said he sympathised for me and actually took my cuffs off and let me smoke a cigarette IN HIS CAR! He said he never has, nor would he ever again let anyone smoke in his car again. He would become the only police officer I ever had respect for, regardless that he wasnt that nice the next few times.

But I didnt get off as easy as they let my girlfriend go, without making a scene, or talking to her parents, they made up for it when bringing me home. We're talking lights flashing, even a briefly blaring siren, as if to tell all the neighbors to wake up and come see what was going on at the Hanthorn's house. As for my parents truck, it was towed to the house, and I wound up with a hefty fine and charged for the tow.

Still cant remember what I told my folks. Of all the incidents I have had with the law growing up, this was by far the most memorable... even pleasant compared to the rest.

True story.