Grade 5 bolts will have 3 lines on the head, grade 8 will have 5 or 6. A gr8 will usually snap before it bends(more brittle) but a gr5 will often stretch or break. An example given to me in tech school was that Mack trucks had a problem with snapping the fly wheel bolts. Turned out gr8 was too brittle for the application(vibration) so they changed out to gr5 and all was good.
The reason why Warn says to use Grade 5 is simply because thats all thats needed. As said above
"if you look at the shear capability of a 3/8" grade 5 bolt for you winch, 5750 lbs each and there are four bolt holding the winch. The winch will never see more than 9500 lbs at the winch which is less than the capability of 2 bolts"
Its the same reason why an 8000# winch comes with 5/16s cable instead of 3/8s, its because thats all you need. If you want to go bigger or better, go ahead, no harm in that.
An easy supply of super tough bolts is CAT bolts from Finning, not sure what they are rated at but they are better than GR8 and have a beefier head on them for better grip with your tools. I used a set of them when I plated the frame around the steering box on my XJ and needed a longer bolt. Not many people realize those bolts are better than GR8 quality from the manufacture, same with the axle end trac bar bolt, its a 10.9 if I remember right, standard off the shelf bolts are 8.8.