my trip to Hollywood

[FullMetalJeep]

i might offend some of you who have roots in the US, but for the most part Im just jokin around so relax you American bastards.

ok, so i came down here (California) on friday. First thing we do is go to a restarant to get some lunch. My first interaction with the americans went something like this:

me : yea hi, can I get the Bacon Cheese burger please?
American bastard  : yes, how would you like it cooked?
me  : im sorry....??
American bastard  : would you like it rare? medium rare? ... well done?
me  : uhhh.... .... what is in the hamburger...?? like fish or steak or something???
American bastard  : ... its made out of hamburger, sir..
me  : well then I think I'll get it medium well.... is there going to be pink in it?
American bastard  : yea there should be some pink in it... (stupid foriegn bastard, probably from Canada)
me  : well can I get my hamburger with out any pink fricken food poisoning!

yea, im all messed up down here... I was checking out the the fire escape routes in my hotel, and then went to look where they were and couldnt find any... then i realized all the illuminated fire exits are GREEN!! wtf! good thing i did that cause if there was a fire there would be one well done canadian in there...

i cant remember all the messed up things i have experienced... but there have been a few culture shocks to me. and by god the people down here... I AM SO GLAD I AM CANADIAN! I grew up always fantasizing about the girls down in the states. Mainly due to the american womens imagery in the media and such songs like "California Girl" and that other one..."I wish they all could be California giiiiiiiirls!" now that im here in cali, i can count the number times I have seen a smokin hot babe on both hands.

not at all like canada, the girls in canada are hot and plentiful, the guys are cool and everyone dresses normally. down here 98% of people are fat and ugly, and not ugly as in if you lost 150 pounds then youd look good... its more like, if you lost 150 pounds, youd still be so damn ugly there would be nothing any plastic surgeon or make up artist would ever be able to do for you!! and the smokin chicks i mentioned, are actually like our regular girl next door girls, they just look hot cause there surrounded by the FattyMcFugglies!!

on the other hand, to even the score a bit, i am finding that I as a canadian, I am more of a f**kin jerk then any of these American bastards.. they are all actually quite reasonable and friendly. Also, yesterday, not only did I drink in public LEGALLY for once, but i also had BACON AND CHOCOLATE for breakfast! so, i guess that might have something to do with why the US is full of the FattyMcFugglies...

anyways, I like americans, but I dont ever want to live here, or breed with these people... condoms all the way. I like my WOMEN like I like my Beer, CANADIAN!!!!
**except I dont like Milson Candian.... that beer sucks.

Thank God Im comming home tomorrow!!

[XJHERO]

Sounds  like you had a great trip.

[Vinman]

I was checking out the the fire escape routes in my hotel, and then went to look where they were and couldnt find any... then i realized all the illuminated fire exits are GREEN!!

They changed from red to green about 5 years ago.

Apparently they had quite a problem with the Canadians attempting to escape the fire. It turns out a number of Canadians burned to death waiting while stopped at the red light waiting for it to turn green

[hps4evr]

from the sounds of your post im sure you are enjoying the beer... and whatever else the americans are feeding you. whats with the obsession with larger people. maybe you can only count the hot chicks on 2 hands because you cant help but look at all the "fugly" people... are you lusting after these americans? they have needs too you know. its ok. we wont judge you. we will only point and laugh